What coaching is (and isn’t)

• What is coaching, and how is it different from counseling or therapy?
• Is coaching the same as spiritual direction?
• Do I need to be in crisis to benefit from coaching?
• What if I don’t know what I want to work on?

What is coaching, and how is it different from counseling or therapy? Coaching is forward-focused. We’re not processing the past — we’re working with where you are now and where you want to go. Coaching addresses growth. Therapy addresses trauma of the past to bring healing. If deeper therapeutic work is needed, I’ll say so and help you find the right support.

Is coaching the same as spiritual direction? They overlap, but they’re distinct. Spiritual direction centers on your relationship with God, with the director largely listening and noticing. Coaching is more active and goal-oriented, though faith is always welcome in the room.

Do I need to be in crisis to benefit from coaching? Not at all. Coaching works best when you’re functional but feeling stuck, restless, or ready for something more.

What if I don’t know what I want to work on? That’s exactly what Clarity coaching is for. Not knowing is a fine place to start.

• How does a coaching session work?
• How long are sessions, and how often do we meet?
• How many sessions will I need?
• Do we meet in person or virtually?
• What happens between sessions?

How does a coaching session work? We meet by video. You bring what’s most alive for you, and I help you think it through with better questions than you might ask yourself.

How long are sessions, and how often do we meet? Sessions are typically 50 minutes. Most clients meet every two to three weeks, though we’ll find a rhythm that works for you.

How many sessions will I need? That varies. Some people find real movement in 3–4 sessions. Others stay for months. We’ll check in regularly to make sure it’s working. Coaching can be useful for a specific issue you are working through, or a long-term plan for goals and growth.

Do we meet in person or virtually? Primarily virtually, via video. This makes coaching accessible regardless of where you are and is more cost effective than traveling.

What happens between sessions? You’ll often leave with something to reflect on, try, or notice. The real work happens in your life, not just in our conversations.

• What’s your coaching background and training?
• Do you coach clergy only, or is coaching open to anyone?
• What’s your approach — what can I expect from you as a coach?
• Do faith and spirituality come into our sessions?

What’s your coaching background and training? I was trained through a program called Coaching4Clergy. The training however didn’t focus necessarily on religious or spiritual things, but it gave those in the group some common ground that pastors and church leaders often do not find anywhere else. I am a member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF) which is the leading voice for the global coaching industry. ICF holds to high ethical standards and ensures coaches are practicing with a thorough knowledge of the core competencies. These are the standards by which I am credentialed and to which I adhere. I am credentialed as an Associate Certified Coach (ACC) which is the first level of certification. I hope to have my Professional Certified Coach (PCC) next year. I am also endorsed by the United Methodist Endorsing Agency as a Life Coach.

What ethical standards do you follow? As mentioned above, I am committed to the ethical standards of the International Coaching Federation (ICF). This means I maintain strict confidentiality, avoid conflicts of interest, practice within my scope of competence, and prioritize your wellbeing in every session. You can review the full ICF Code of Ethics, and see more about what coaching offers at coachingfederation.org.

Do you coach clergy only, or is coaching open to anyone? While I bring a pastoral background to this work, coaching is open to anyone navigating growth, transition, or calling. People might be surprised to find that clergy face many of the same things other professionals face.

What’s your approach — what can I expect from you as a coach? My job isn’t to give you answers — it’s to help you find the clarity that’s already in you, and to hold you accountable to what you say matters. I will listen more than talk, so that is normal if you wonder. I want to be your thought-partner as you seek to be all you were meant to be.

Do faith and spirituality come into our sessions? Yes, if you want them to. I bring a pastoral sensibility to this work, but I follow your lead on how explicitly we engage faith. It isn’t required if it makes you uncomfortable.

• What does coaching cost?
• Do you offer a sliding scale or reduced rates?
• Is there a way to try coaching before committing?
• What’s your cancellation policy?
• How do I know which coaching option is right for me — Clarity, Momentum, or Confluence?

What does coaching cost? I charge $100 for a 50-minute session. I offer a free introductory call so you can get a feel for coaching before committing. If you are an established client and need a quick conversation to work through something, I do offer 30-minute sessions for $50, but these are only for already established clients.

Do you offer a sliding scale or reduced rates? I want to help you any way I can while still providing for my costs. Let’s have a conversation about what you can afford and what that looks like for your coaching plan.

Is there a way to try coaching before committing? Yes. I offer a introductory discovery session for no cost so you can experience the coaching conversation before deciding on next steps.

What’s your cancellation policy? I understand that life happens and schedules change. Please see the Session Cancelation and Rescheduling Policy for further information.

How do I know which coaching option is right for me — Clarity, Momentum, or Confluence? If you’re new to coaching with me, start with Clarity, even if you’ve been coached before. After we get to know one another and have completed the introductory session, Momentum is where you head next.

If community and shared accountability sound life-giving, consider Confluence. This is group coaching for organizations or a group of individual that have something in common – affinity groups. If you are a business or organization and would like to talk to me about coaching your team, please see the next category on Group Coaching, or send me an email to sonjatobey@oulook.com.

Still unsure? Reach out and we’ll figure it out together.

• How is group coaching different from a support group or class?
• How many people are in a Confluence group?
• What if I miss a session?
• Is what I share kept confidential?

How is group coaching different from a support group or class? A support group is peer-led and centers on sharing. A class is instructor-led and content-driven. Group coaching is facilitated, structured, and goal-oriented — the group creates the context, the coaching creates the movement.

How many people are in a Confluence group? Small enough that everyone is known; large enough for rich conversation usually 6-12 participants.

What if I miss a session? See my Cancellation and Rescheduling Policy

Is what I share kept confidential? Yes. All participants commit to confidentiality as a condition of joining. What’s said in the group stays in the group.